So, I have scoliosis. Pretty bad-ish actually, it's causing my ribcage to stick out a bit...

They're saying that one of those spinal fusion surgery things is pretty much the only sure cure.

Now, they didn't say that I HAD to get it any time soon, and if I DO get it, it won't be until I've at least graduated high school... but I went and looked up stuff about it anyway. Y'know, just to keep informed and all.

And, let me tell you, I'm terrified. I started reading the article and about a 1/4 of the way through, I'm in tears. To be fair, I haven't been having a good day, and it's not so much the surgery itself that's got me upset, it's what having the surgery means. I mean, it can take up to a year to recover from it completely.

But really, it doesn't sound too horribly bad as surgery goes. It said that you're usually able to get up and walk around the next day at least a little. You can go home in about a week or so. You can get back to regularish stuff in like a month, and back to regular activities in 3 or 4.

So I know it's really not that bad at all as far as surgery goes. Other people have much worse procedures. But still. I don't want to have to think about that. I know it's just a whiny, self-centered want, but I don't want this to even have to be an option. I want to think about things that normal high school juniors think about doing after high school. Not 'spinal fusion'.

Of course, it does sound kind of scary. They're going on about hooks and screws and rods and wires and it's kind creepy thinking of that all attatched to your spine.

It might not even have to happen at all if I would just do my physical therapy. Which I have been doing, actually. For the past week. So, really, I'm just being whiny. I know.

I know I'm getting off easy with a maybe, and that there's much, much worse things that could happen to me... I know. I've seen several examples of things like that in friends and friend's family and my own family. I've known more sick and/or injured and/or handicapped people in 16 years than some people have in their entire life. But I don't regret knowing a single one of them. They're all close to me.

But anyway, I just needed a place to vent... so there.

posted by Cinnimin @ 9:12 PM  0 comments

I just realized... I'm not a teenager. I mean, I was thinking about how last year, a whole bunch of movies teenagers would typically go to see came out, or that teenagers would typically be interested in, and when I saw commercials for them, I was inwardly interested and yet, I knew I would probably never see those movies. I considered myself too mature to go see them. It's something I've been realizing lately; I've never acted my age completely. When I was younger, I never got kids movies, or was embarrassed to get toys or watch TV shows that were technically for my age group because I always thought people would think I was stupid or something. Because I was too mature for things like that; I assumed I wasn't supposed to interested in things like that.

It's kind of sad, now that I think about it. I just assume that people will judge me for liking things that my own age group is interested in because... I guess I thought maybe I was beyond that stuff... I mean, I didn't think I was better than anybody, or that I was too good to be interested in it, it's just that, I've always heard people telling me I was advanced for my age, how I could read several grade levels above where I was and all that. I think maybe I just got into the mindset that I should always be doing things at a higher level, not at the average one.

Hah... now I've kind of gotten myself a little choked up about something stupid like that... when, really, I've been slowly realizing it for a while... but I guess the full realization just kinda hit me. I always say I'm not normal, all my friends say it about themselves, and it's always been true, but I think I just realized how deep it really runs...

There are so many things I've only just done in this past year that most people my age have done many times. It's kinda weird that I hardly ever think about what I should do this weekend, I just take for granted that I won't be doing anything. I won't be going anywhere. I'm not going to do anything interesting. Instead, I'm always thinking about what I'm going to be doing a few years from now. How my life will be then... I don't think about tomorrow, I think about 2 years from now... which is good sometimes, but not all the time, I guess... I don't really know. I'm not sure anymore...

Sigh. Tomorrow is the Homecoming Dance. That'll be fun. Of course, tonight is the Homecoming game. I never took into account that I could probably go if I asked. So I'm not going. I'll just ask one of my friends how it came out when I see them tomorrow.

posted by Cinnimin @ 1:09 PM  0 comments

Sigh... so, I finally finished the manga series I've been reading since July- yes, I'm a slow reader, but it's also a rather long series- and I'm sad. I have reached the point when you realize there is no more of the wonderful thing you've become adicted to; books, tv shows, brownies, crack, etc.

It's a sad stage in which you don't feel like reading/watching/eating/smoking/whatever anything other than what you've just run out of, but you can't. Because there isn't anymore. And you don't really feel like doing anything other than whatever it is you do with what you're missing.

But, you get over it in a day or so. The end.

posted by Cinnimin @ 9:42 PM  0 comments

Hmm.... Today shall be: 13 Things I Wish They Would Bring Back (Who is they? Well... I don't know.)

1. Good Cartoons
Okay, my definition of good cartoons probably varies from the next person's, but I think we can all agree that getting rid of Chowder and The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack will be a step in the right direction.

2. Sugar
No one uses it anymore; all they use is corn syrup... and "artifical sweetener".

3. Big Fat Awesome House Party
Oddly specific, yes, and most of you probably don't know what I'm talking about. It was an online game based off of "Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends" (another thing they need to bring back, by the way) where you got to create your own imaginary friend and go around Foster's and eventually the whole neighborhood doing favors and such for other people and it was cute and sweet and nice and they took it down... and now I'm sad.

4. Ask Jieves
I never could spell it...but I liked the idea of it. Now it's just 'ask.com'. I liked it when they added on the 'Jieves' ... even though I can't spell it properly...

5. Cartoon Disney Movies
They're all CGI now. The last cartoon movie that came to theaters was 'The Simpsons Movie'. Now it's all 3D and CGI and blah blah blah. I miss Disney movies from when I was little. I actually went to see "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" in theaters when I was, like, 3. It was pretty cool.

6. Betty Crocker Bake-and-Fill
You used to see a commercial for it at least once every time you turned on the TV. Now you can't see it anywhere. Now, those commercials may have been annoying, but I liked the idea of it. It was nifty.

7. Snow Days
They try soooo hard not to get us to stay home from school here, even when it seems like it really is necessary. They just can't stand to close the school. I miss South Dakota and having snow from October to May. It was awesome. They certainly weren't afraid to give us snow days there... of course, the snow DID go up higher than me...

8. Cartoon Channels that STAY Cartoon Channels
They now have live action shows on every channel that was meant to stay cartoons except Boomerang. I mean... "CN Real"? That's an oxymoron.

9. Being Able to Read for Entertainment
I am now a junior in high school and I fear that by the time I graduate, reading for pleasure will be a thing of the past... We have to analyze everything!

10. Commercials That Don't Make Me Angry
There are very few of these left... They're changing cereal mascots, making people into idiots, saying stupid things, going on about erectile disfuction, ruining good songs, and lord knows what else. Can't they just have nice, simple commercials that advertise the product and that's it? Half the time, the commercials don't even have anything to do with the thing they're selling!

11. Being Able to Say Certain Words Without Worrying if They're Dirty
Half the things we say have become slang for something dirty. It's ridiculous.

12. Money
Bringing money back might be a good idea... but hey, whatever.

13. School House Rock
Personally, I think it would be cool if they made modern ones... but not with CGI, dammit!

And that was my sad little list. Yay! Go to http://www.thursday-13.com/ if you have no idea what the heck I'm doing, by the way.

posted by Cinnimin @ 6:59 AM  5 comments

Hmm... so, maybe I should start using my blog again. But I think I ought to give it a new look... 'cuz this one is malfunctioning slightly. At least on my end...

So, some of my friends from school have blogs and stuff... I didn't know that.

Today is really quite nice, it's 63 degrees and rainy. Yay rainy. Of course, I do have to stay home for the third day in a row, though I didn't actually want to... it's a long and complicated explanation which, currently, I don't want to get into.

I'm going to start a cooking blog, in case anybody who probably isn't reading this is interested... I'm gonna put up good recipes from our recipe book, but also my own recipes... Of course, I'm going to focus more on baked goods because I've decided I'm going to own a bakery one day... Oh! Thunder! Gotta love "fall" thunderstorms. Yes, I know it's only September 3, but it's felt like fall around here for a week.

So... that's all for now. Ta.

posted by Cinnimin @ 6:36 AM  0 comments

It is at two in the morning, when I cannot sleep for one or more reasons when I tend to become very philosophical... or at least, very weird. And, to take my mind off of other things, I ask myself the big questions:

How IS a raven like a writing desk?

Is a 'One-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people-eater simply a man-eating monster, or a monster that eats flying purple people?

Man eating cheese- genetic experiment gone wrong or a simple snack?

What is the letter 'q' for?

I know the answer to two questions, however. Which came first, the chicken, or the egg? Really, it depends on your beliefs... if you believe in evolution, then the egg came first (which is what I believe), but if you think evolution is a bunch of fiddle-faddle, poppy-cock, and twaddle, then the chicken came first.

Also, is the glass half-full, or half-empty? Once again, it depends. Of course, not if you believe in evolution or not... 'If you're a sinner, you glass is half-empty!' ...no. It depends on if you are pouring or drinking. If you are putting the water into the glass, it is half-full. If you are taking the water out, it is half-empty.

That tree falling in the forest thing? I have no idea... I suppose it technically should... but according to my sister there's all this nonsense about physics or something... I don't know. Also, there would be no colors without light... but then, I don't suppose it would matter if things were colored or not, because we can't see anything without light... It's like those cave fish. They've lived in a pit in a cave without any light for so many generations, they just stopped growing eyes. It's a bit creepy-looking, really. But I digress... at least, I think I do... I'm really not sure what I was talking about in the first place...

Do we write the stories, or do they simply write themselves?

posted by Cinnimin @ 11:58 PM  0 comments

Today is the day that I was born 15 years ago and today marks that I have spent 15 years on this planet... woo. The previous week has been fun. Lots of fun. We went shopping on Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday and I got some cool stuff. I got a computer about a month ago. A super cool computer (my old one died). On Friday I got Chinese food for lunch and I got to go to a sort of party type of thing at the library and I met up with my friends and JK came home with me and we spent the night typing and giggling and eating cake, which I also got on Friday. I opened two presents on Friday, a Sims 2 expansion pack and Marioparty DS. On Saturday I didn't do much of anything other than watch TV and play on my computer. Today, on my birthday, that's exactly what I did. I woke up at 7 and opened a gift from my mom, another sims 2 expansion pack, and then I fell back to sleep until noon. I put on a t-shirt and jeans (a new t-shirt) and skipped breakfast alltogether. I watched movies all day and played on my computer and ate the last slice of my birthday cake. Then I watched a video tape of my 11th birthday and marvled at the difference. Now I'm in bed. And that was about it.

4 years ago I got up early, put on a pretty dress and had breakfast at my computer, which I seldom did, and then went out to play with my friends. Then I went to go pick up my cake with my dad and when I got back there was a surprise party for me. Only one I ever had, normally I'm in on the planning. We played games and ate pizza and had lots of fun and I opened presents from friends and family. I don't remember exactly what I had for dinner. Then I probably watched cartoons contentedly until bedtime and when to bed content.

4 years ago, I lived in a different house and had different friends and I would give almost anything to go back and relive that year. The year I lived on Whiteman Drive. You can live the best time of your life without realizing it and years from then, you wish you could go back and realize it. This is the first year I didn't do anything on the actual day of my birth. It feels weird. It's not like we ignored my birthday. Of course we didn't! But I didn't want to do anything today because my dad had to work and he would have missed out and my mom didn't feel good so we spread it out throughout the week and didn't do anything today, just like I asked. I kind of wish I'd asked to do something... but I didn't. It's my own fault... but I still wish I'd done something...

posted by Cinnimin @ 8:50 PM  4 comments